Why Did I Get Ghosted? 5 Easy Explanations
“Why did I get ghosted?” is a very common question among my clients who get love readings. Perhaps it’s the most common question.
Flirting is fun. I’m in my final third of my life (probably), and I still love being flirty. And I find men enjoy that energy. Yet, many times, my flirty energy is as far as a potential boyfriend and I get. Past that, I have been ghosted a few times. Unfortunately, I have been the “ghoster” at times.
Recently, after a date with a perfectly lovely man, I couldn’t bring myself to answer his phone call. I actually recoiled. Then, I caught myself. I thought how he was attentive, sweet, brought me some flowers, bought me a couple of drinks, and he was a perfect gentleman. Why did I recoil and want to ghost him? I could feel his question, “Why did I get ghosted?
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This took me into a study of my feelings and an analysis of my dating life. I began to analyze why this was happening to me and by me. I didn’t like the thought that I hurt someone. Yet, as a learner and proponent of vibrational alignment, I felt that I needed to grasp the energetic signature of this phenomenon. Being in a position where you ask, “Why did I get ghosted?” can be painful and confusing.
So, if you’re wondering why ghosting happened to you, you’re not alone. What follows is an explanation of why this happens to you and from you.
1. The Emotions Are Too Much
The sweet man I mentioned earlier asked me at the end of the date to be his girlfriend. Eyeball to eyeball, I weakly touted, “Okay.” Smile. Yet, it was too much for me. I’m a Cancer sun with Cancer rising. I wanted to run, even though it was perfectly lovely up until that moment. We humans often can’t help but want to avoid an awkward or uncomfortable conversation.
Story: A client of mine asked for a reading because she had been chatting with a very nice man on Match. They went on three dates. Then, nothing. A lively texting relationship just stopped. She asked me, “What did I do wrong?” and “Why did I get ghosted?” I told her that he felt like he did have feelings for her, but there was a weakness in his energy. I told her it felt immature. I picked up nothing about her that was a problem.
Weeks later, she bumped into him at a community play. He admitted he wasn’t ready for a relationship and didn’t know how to say it. So he ghosted.
Insight: So to answer, “Why did I get ghosted?” in this case, “ghosting” is often a shortcut to avoid saying, “I’m not feeling it.” It’s easier to do, but harder on the recipient. Just like in my example above, immaturity.
2. Low Investment: You Weren’t Their Priority
Dating sites give us a quick, easy clearing house of people to meet from our couch. Rarely have I had a client who used a dating site who didn’t talk to multiple people. What happens is you talk to many people, and when someone grabs your attention, you pursue a meeting.
Story: Another client ghosted someone after two dates because he met someone else he (pardon the pun) “clicked with” more. It was such a casual conversation that he didn’t feel compelled to announce any change in his attention.
Insight: It’s not fair, but it’s common.here, to answer, “Why did I get ghosted?” always remember, ghosting often reflects their priorities—not your value.
3. Lack of Emotional Education: They Lack Communication Skills
As a Cancer, I love exploring emotions and analyzing them. The first part of my life I was an actor. I loved it so much. Exploring the feelings of other characters gave me such expression and insight into my emotions. I read all kinds of books, even as a teen, about relationships and communication. My first degree included an in-depth study of interpersonal communication. However, most people do not get any kind of emotional tutoring.
Story: As I have talked to clients about their love lives, it has appeared to me that ghosting is mostly about self-preservation and protection. To avoid feelings of guilt and confrontation, it is easier to just disappear. Even my late Sagittarius husband (who seemed to enjoy confrontation) said that when he dated, he got in situations where he just didn’t want to be. So, he either ran or he continued the relationship, but was miserable.
Insight: Again, to answer the question, “Why did I get ghosted?” remember ghosting is their inability to communicate, not your fault.
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That brings us to the next point…
4. Their Inability Does Not Define You
Sometimes, the answer to “Why did I get ghosted? has nothing to do with you. I’ve given several love readings where we as cooperative team (a psychic and client) felt the caring and interest from a third party. Yet, you must realize, life can be… messy—work, kids, mental issues, family dramas, burnout. When someone’s overwhelmed, they might retreat from all social situations. Even dating ones that have been successful.
Story: Another client of mine called for a reading about a man who ghosted her after a month of dating. She was bummed, but I encouraged her to keep going with other dates, because he did not feel like he was completely gone. Weeks later, he reached out and explained he’d been dealing with depression. She appreciated the honesty—but the damage was done.
Insight: “Why did I get ghosted?” can be answered with the realization that ghosting can be or is a reflection of the other person’s internal chaos, not your actions.
5. They Weren’t Serious Enough to Commit
Some people ghost because they were never serious. They enjoyed the attention, the flirtation, the validation—but when things got real, they ran.
Story: Breadcrumbing is when someone gives just enough attention to keep you interested, but never fully shows up. Like my date that I mentioned earlier, I realized I really wasn’t ready to commit to being a girlfriend…not to anyone. That self-assessment led to self-reflection. That self-analysis led to insight…
Insight: You deserve more than crumbs. In his answer to, “Why did I get ghosted?” I acknowledged that he deserved more than my limited attention, and if he moved on before I was ready, that had to be okay.
So, what do you do if you’ve been ghosted or suspect you’ve been ghosted?
- Don’t chase. If someone ghosts you, let them go. Closure doesn’t always come from them—it comes from you. Sure, the possibility that your dating journey is done feels great, but ask yourself, “At what cost?”
- Reflect, but don’t blame yourself. Learn what you want in a relationship, but don’t overanalyze every emoji or text. Was it real? Yes. But this says more about them than it does you.
- Seek out a love reader for insight. There are many love readers out there who can give you clarity in your budding relationship. How much is your peace of mind worth?
Ghosting Is a Filter, Not a Failure
Ghosting is admittedly painful; however, it also swipes away someone who is not really ready to communicate. If you are asking yourself, “Why did I get ghosted?” you are not the only one, and you are not the problem. You deserve someone who shows up, not someone who disappears.
I contacted the man whose phone call brought me a recoil reaction. I chatted with him and faced my cringy emotions. I told him how thrilled I was that he asked me to be his girlfriend, but it also freaked me out a bit. He understood, and we agreed to continue to chat as friends. Turns out that his dating emotional maturity was good, but I am not ready to move into a committed relationship now.
Thank you, Universe, for that clarity.
Peace, Y’all–Leah
